Breathe in for Luck

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I try to be nice, but you just laugh.
I'm not fitting in anymore, what can I do?
You don't realize, but it's starting to hurt.
When everything's just right, it always turns to dirt.

Help me, what am I doing wrong?
I don't understand, I'm there when you're not strong.
I try to be happy most of the time, but it's getting harder now,
knowing your friendship isn't mine.

-Ashley Baron-

so what if i talked to you. as if you cared. you almost fell asleep on me. i thought you blocked me off your phone. your msn. but whatever you didnt block me from, i know that you actually blocked me off your heart. i thought that i could change you. i thought that i could love you. but everything was so naught. you dont even open up to me anymore. everything you just say is oh-so-extremely vague i cannot stress the word vague enough. oh. but maybe i did change you. i changed you into something i couldnt reconize, someone i couldnt relate to. so what if i share everything with you. maybe what we shared was more than a friendship. at least to me it was. as if you care. so what if i know you, your name, your age, your birthdate, your church, your friends, your ht and wt, your schools, your family, but i sometimes question do i really know you even though i know your personality. but oh whatever. its been almost 2 months since that day. and around 2 weeks since you pissed me off. part of me is angry. part not. i quite miss everything we did. i did so much more for you than i did for anyone else. including that other person. i only met that other person once. i met you like. i dont know how many times. i only wrote the other person one letter. i wrote you like. i dont know how many times. i only made him a simple bookmark. i made yours with your favourite verse and with a card. and i only hugged that other person once. i hugged you like. i dont know how many times. i only cried over the other person once. i cried over you like. i dont know how many times. i mean maybe all these are just so superficial and everything and maybe to you it doesnt prove anything. i just dont understand your ways anymore. theres too much going through my head and too much i need to say. i long for the day when you will talk to me. when you will finally agree for lunch. or at least just talk for more than 5 minutes. is five minutes out of your 24 hours you have a day too much? then i guess im not that much to you either.

oh dear im getting all emotional=/. Oh GOD HELP ME.

@ 18:26

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