Breathe in for Luck
Friday, February 19, 2010

Faith


Mood: Sigh :(
Music: Chris Tomlin - Come Home Running

Okay for those that don't know, the past few days have been somewhat like shit. It got so bad I broke down in school. It was during a break though, thankfully. Still, crying twice in a day is a clear indication I'm not fine. But through everything, God has remained faithful. Today during CF worship, Jasmine talked about the prodigal son, and it really sounds like me. Like, we run away, but God's always there to welcome us with open arms. When I first read the parable, I thought the father was crazy. But God is full of so much love, he's always waiting there, for us to come back to Him.

And Pastor Joel's message on our personal value. We have value, because we are made in the image of God. And that alone is reason enough to warrant us precious in God's eyes.

I am just holding on to God more tightly than ever. I guess this trial was God's way of bringing me back to him. I asked God many weeks ago to bring me back to him, to play a more significant part in my life. Well, God answers prayers, just not in ways we expect. But I'll just take all these as training in character. So, be careful of what you wish pray for.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
James 1: 2-3

In the chaos in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
None But Jesus by Hillsong

Dear God, I really need you.

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@ 23:49

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Power Of Your Love


Mood: Happy :)
Music: Hillsong - From The Inside Out

Hello Friends! I am here to blog about CF camp! :D

Day One
I arrived while my teammates were playing games. My group is too cool: Jotham, John, Jackson, Yimin, Candice, Noelle, Stephanie :D :D All the girls were ex-mg girls, how pwn is that :)

During the games, we competed with Jan's group...and lost ALL the games lol. Homan fooseball...I suck at goal keeping haha, Jeremy and Samson kept kicking the ball at me ah...AND JOHN'S (own) BALLS ALMOST GOT HIT BY JAN WAHAHAHA. Pwn moment. A few of us lazed in our rooms, then we had a passover dinner, complete with the lamb and naan.

At night, Pastor Joel preached, and then we had night games, which were crazy. Jotham got take naway halfway, which was good for him because I don't think his poor leg would be able to take what was to come. We did 20 star jumps, 40 half squats, 40 push ups, planks...and blah blah blah. CAN DIE. Literally. We almost couldn't walk after that, and for the first time in my life, walking up the stairs was eaiser than walking down because your legs would just give way with every step you take down the flight. Planks were even more difficult because we were literally drenched in sweat, the walkway to the canteen floor is so slippery and let's just face it, I'm not strong. Hah. But my group was really really nice, we kept encouraging each other, so we all came out very much stronger.

It was rather eerie after the spider web station; Jackson John Noelle and me doing things alone =( but after games were impromtu worship and altar call, and then we finally got to shower and wash our hair. Seeyue Amy and I went to the third floor toilets and showered with a hose passed from cubicle from cubicle hahaha.

Some of us got taken away during mass games because they either bonded the team together or made mistakes. Jeremy's own deduction was the best
I think I got taken away because I said "your mother"
HAHAHAHA.

Day Two
Breakfast was really really awesome. So awesome that I ate 4 slices of bread. No kidding. And milo. Hah and then I got too full I couldn't finish my lunch oh wellz. Pastor Joel preached again before lunch and we had some other gams before lunch, and after lunch were WET GAMES!!!!

There was this balloon popping game, Seeyue Amy and I kept screaming as our form of deterrence ahaha.

Water bomb games against Jan, Eeedric and Seeyue's group. My group allied with mama Jan's group, but that was a total phail because I saw Jon obviously throwing a water bomb at Candice heh. Jackson and John were the power people of our group, they hardly got wet!



WHOOO!!!
Seeyue Amy and I went to shower at our usual place, then we had quiet time and...PRAYER STATION. It was the most amazing thing of the entire camp. There, I really met God, learnt so m uch about love in ways I never thought I could. And the place was so...surreal. So filled with God's presence, it was like a haven, a rest place. I don't even know how to describe it. Down there, all your problems just MELT away and just be with God. It's kinda like being in the company of your best friend, there's not a care in the world...not a soul in the world that can bring you two apart.

At night we had extended worship, and sharing with Steph and Candie. After worship I got a real nice card from Candice and a huge hug from Steph =)

We didn't really have a nights out, so Jan and I went to pig out at the supper table. And by pig out, we mean pig out. Seeyue and I stole Jeremy's instant noodles, Jan and I ate for one and a half hours. I ate something like, 3 packets of grape biscuits, naan, Milo pops and all sorts of edible things on the table. Nutella...peanut butter... In the end Joyce Seeyue and I crashed at 2am.

Day Three
I was quite full from all the supper, so I only ate 4 packets of graphe biscuts. Then we had a time of thanksgiving and sharing...it felt really nice hearing every one's testimonies. Matthias' testimony really speaked to med heh. Then we went for area cleaning, and I met my broom friend, which I met at Restless VI too haha!

After CF camp, Jan + Jotham + Jasmine (group 6,7,8) went for post-cf celebrations!! :D Our groups merged because so many people left. LIke John, who claims I said "BYE JOHN! more than 5 times. Jan's group was the best. She was the only girl left with all her sons, and the female population was outnumbered by the boys 3:1. :(

We are the worst customers ever. We went into Cold Rock, tried out most of their flavours, felt it was too expensive, and went to Haagan Das. But it was still too expensive so after joining all the tables together to fit all 12 of us, we picked our bags and left. In the end we sat at the hawker centre, and a few of us went to Cold Storage to share one tub of ice cream. We bought Mango Sorbet to mock Samson for his Cold Rock buy hahaha. Plus, we all had our own utensils. Going green ftw!

We teased Jotham to the core during "I Never", but we all agreed to secrecy so I can't post up the things we said. Jotham if you see this, hurry up get facebook! We played the finger game, and I got killed three times by Max the self-professed "n00b", and I choked on Matthias' water. I poured water up my face (by accident, mind you), and everyone started laughing, (Jon Tan and his "see I told you her brain got problem..can't even drink water properly...) so I started laughing and when you have water in your mouth up your nose...you know what happens. So I choked and started coughing really badly it wasn't funny anymore. Max started taking out lots of tissue from his tissue box (hahaha) and after my whole near-death ordeal was over, they started laughing at me again. Nice.

Went back to school with Jeremy and we chilled with Andrea, Paul, Gideon and Ian Yang. But I was so tired I just died while Andrea was talking. Like, I literally, just died. ):

Restless after that with Ding and Kwok. Our dinner was so phail heh. And we all went home, happy little people :)

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@ 18:18

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

School Daze


Mood: Tired :O
Music: Amber Pacific - Fall Back Into My Life

Okay wanna know what's up with my life? School, school, and more school.

Just recap hmm let's see. Okay Thursday we (the usual)  all went for Kronos, and it was then Ernest's secrets were all revealed.

"Ernest you don't even swim during swimming! All you ever do is 'train' in the training pool" Wahahahaha too cool can't take it anymore man.

Okay during the concert we were all just shouting "Eddie WU! (Whoo)" or "Naddie!" And just laughing at the two lovebirds haha. During interval we were making a lot of noise, playing with Sophie's one-dollar hairspray. We sprayed Yk like crazy and Jin too and it was spraying madness I took out my deoderant to counter the smelly hairspray, and I got tricked and my hair ended up glittery too sighz. 

Long walk home and I just did my Zuowen and CRASHED. 

Friday was cheering for netball (we won 61-48), cabbed back for Cf, had one of the most amazing meetings with God in my ENTIRE life. I'm serious. For one of the rare times, I felt like I really met God this time. I could feel Him all around me. And you know how they always talk about "laying down everything at the foot of the cross", and I never could really do that. But this time, I really could. I could literally feel my burdens being taken away, every thing surrendered to Christ. Best of all, I prayed to  God for help. I said "Okay God, I give up. I can't do this on my own anymore, please send someone to help me." And within ten seconds (no exaggerration here), someone came up to me, and prayed for me, with me. It was so amazing. Being in God's presence and laying down everything, it really was as if nothing mattered anymore. Everything just seems so dull and unimportant compared to being with God. It was, amazing beyond amazing.

Saturday
Math tuition, then Glissando. Bonding with the harp people beacuse we had nothing to do, playing silly games and eating together, and crashing at home I was just too tired heh heh.

Sunday
Study in church, try to do EPQs and tutorials with kartoyo and IZ liu, and then family dinner at night and OMG MY WHOLE PHONE INBOX GOT DELETED I am epic sad. Died trying to stay awake then I died.

Monday
Woke up early to shower if not I would fall asleep in school. Last minute studying for math. But still. I think I will phail oh gosh. Stayed back in school to study with Sophie and Mel and Yk were there also. Jin and Zhewen appeared and disappeared. Sabrina was there for a while. ("Thanks for inviting me. Thanks. Too cool already I can't take it") Hahaha omg funny. Then dinner with Sophie and Yk.

We ate $1.80 chicken rice and walked around one whole round so I could find my tuition haha and er tuition the whole night. Came home and crashed.

Tuesday
Was supposed to sleep until 7am and start studying Chem, but then I fell asleep until 7.20 I didn't have time to study. Then Cheryl came, then I had follow up, then we were doing idk what but anyway we were late for assembly and got locked out of the hall haha. Not just Cheryl Abby and I, but Yauwan and all also got locked out it was kinda funny hahahaha. 

And...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAPHNE!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAPHNE! :D

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@ 21:54

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Light or Tight?


Mood: Pensive :I
Music: AFI - Love Like Winter

I look at my friend's churches (more than one), and I see the way how they put their church friends above all their other friends, how their church friends fall under their "top friends" (not that I know of anyone how rates their friends but you get my drift), how they talk to each other during the week (a whole group not just two mutually exclusive people), how they actually go out with each other during the week and not just on Sundays...And I realise my church is so different. No one goes out with each other (except those that are attached to each other which is kinda DUH right), there's no group of friends- everyone's so 'alone' or with their siblings and they just go home after service. In a way that's good because there's no 'exclusive group' to outcast them or intimidate them, but on more ways than one it could be seen as bad because who's going to talk to them when the people in church don't even talk to those already in church, much less newcomers. And who's there to welcome them if the churchgoers themselves feel unwelcomed? Friendships are so superficial it's mostly 'fun' because we're poking fun at each other calling them 'fat' 'short' 'weird' and we all say "it's fun it's swell" but at the end of the day how much more do we know about each other, other than the fact he/she's 'fat' 'short' 'weird' and how much more do we learn about ourselves? I'm not saying that each and every friendship that we have has to be deep because that's just being unrealistic and scary. I'm just saying that I wish church would mean more to me, and more to the people in my church to the extent that we would bother forging true friendships and church would be a place we can call our 'second home'. True you might refute me and say that church is about worshipping God and nothing else, but didn't the Bible say that fellowship is important too?


I'm so tempted to say "Whatever" and walk away from all this but I won't because the fact is that I do care. I just don't know how to solve everything. In any case, rant's over. Goodnight.

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@ 22:07

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