God has not forsaken you. He's there if you cry out to him. You have no idea how much I care for you, but seeing as I honestly don't mean anything to you, I don't think I have a right to show that I care. But if you do read this, you know who you are, and know that I care, and I'm still sorry for everything that happened on tuesday. I wish I could know what you are thinking, please tell me directly because I hate the way we are (not) communicating now.

Today half my class skipped GP, and I studied with Han Lin/Hanz/Lin Lin/Xiao Lin/ Han Han/ HENRY for a while before knocking out for a while and then going for CF.

For all that's happened this week, I really don't know what to say.

Went for some SIM seminar, and left feeling real stupid. I don't even know why I'm there. I've been mediocre my whole life. This is kinda like a 'wow' thing to me, let's see how long I hold out.

Let's all starve. I'm on a downward spiral, do you care?

I just realised how sad my chances are for getting h3. Achievements? Like SYF Gold? Who the hell cares when you are talking about chemistry. You can't even harvest the Gold from syf to process or study it or whatever. And they will only give these kind of cool shiz to those (in the words of Arthas) "Zai" people who probably wins robotics competitions and stuff. The good will only get better, all the presidents scholarships will be given to people who Ace (As) their 11, 12 credits. My dismal 10 is beyond hope. How do we prove we're awesome too, when they don't give us a chance to? I'm a bit sick of trying. I think I am destined to be mediocre.

I can't get into TWO Olympiads like joey, who studies a bit and tops the level for bio, or gets 99% for 99% of tests, Neither am I a Zhewen who studies for ONE week and produces AABB and goes for Two Olympiads like joey. Or like CT who entered the exam hall without his lit text and still got a respectable D for Zero amount of studying. Maybe it's not worth trying anymore. It's so hard trying to prove myself.

Olympiad? I think I'm gonna lose to all those people. H3? These people have achievement lists longer than my entire form I swear.

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I am so broke :( I need money for my ogl form, Olympiad notes, buy chem notes, pay up for PW, and I'm going out for dinner tomorrow.

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My knee hurts from walking into the biggest harp in the harp room (fml seriously).

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I haven't been eating much at all the past few days. I can't seem to stomach anything, and I'm on the verge of being anorexic. And everything is my fault fml ttm.

Dear Jan i'm sorry I didn't update, I fell asleep argh!

Anyway just a short short update, Friday was so funny. It was Jiap's 'New Lense Friday' and after CF we all went for dinner at burger king and Han and Nate's "Ehhh, don't la..." and because we got A for a few subjects they went "A...don't la!" HAHA!!! We frolicked after that, and I made two new friends, Rayner and Percy! I totally gotcha-ed Percy, it was very funny.

Today was spent with Sophie, Yk and Kwok for dinner. It was unlikely company, but we enjoyed ourselves. We must READ BETWEEN THE LINES...faggot.

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I'm sorry Jan, that I didn't update.

I'm sorry to those around me, for pushing aside all my duties.

Most of all,

I'm sorry to you, for making you feel confused

I'm sorry to you, for putting you through this

I'm sorry for you, that you had to face up to reality

I'm sorry for myself, for letting myself be led by my heart rather than my head

Sorry for myself, for not listening to my friends

Sorry for myself, for making things worse.

I'm sorry for our friendship (or so-called friendship), that it never got to develop into something that was less than superficial.

Sorry that it lasted so short.

I'm sorry for all our empty promises, they are now as empty as we are now.

If you ever see this, I want you to know that I'm sorry for you, for myself, for our friendship, for everything, and the worst part is knowing that I was at fault for screwing things up. I know as much as this is impossible, I hope you will forgive me, forget the past, and just get past all the awkwardness and just be friends again.

Ohhh man yesterday was THE BOMB!!!

JOOOTHAM's party. Met Jan, Kim, Zara and LeiLei at Ion before making our way there, poor Jan left early. And Leilei was complaining we took so long to walk because according to Zara we're "all dressed up" so we don't wanna sweat(:

At the party, it was so insane...sitting on the table with Jas, Leilei, Jojo, Zara, Kim, Victoria, Judith, and us smelling candles and pretending to be drug addicts. Pretending. It failed anyway, we didn't know how to act realistic. And after a while we gave up sniffing the burnt flowers cuz they smelt like crap, hah.

Then it was photo taking time!!! Jiaps and her cool fisheye, and Jotham going around taking photos. I got a nice shot with him! :D and everyone else.

Then we started playing games. Musical chairs that didn't work out because no one moved, and Jotham forfeited!! And he did this SUPER hot dance it was so funny! Stick had a video but then you can't really hear the music. Everyone was screaming and cheering. Really, it's hard to believe he's 19 (:

We played Whacko..it was so fail. We just started whacking Nainai non stop hahahahaha.

Then we went to cut the cake, take photos, and camwhore some more! I'm not good with words, but it was REALLY fun :)

And today I met Tiffany for some nice heart to heart, over our common interest - FOOD! Namely pretzels and ramen heh heh. :)

If you're really interested, the photos are up here!! Sorry, i"m lazy to post pictures. Heh heh.

Goodnight friends!

Okay so here's my promised photo! This is before...with all the metal and stuff:

And after! Yayyy :)

So she pretended to go jellyfishing, and the net got stuck in her head lol!!!

(for those that are interested to know, the "Inability to smell is calles anosmia. I suppose a person with this condition would be called an anosmic." Hah.
And then yk went to put his bread at his ear, and said, "Yeah yeah, I'm deaf." Haha!

#3
She claims she has a brain tumor, we think she's telling the truth. (just kidding jan!)
I can't remember all she said, but it's so hilarious!
She was meant to say "We need to find fabric paint"
But she ended up saying "We need to find something that sprays fabric!"

She meant to say "How much is this notebook?"
But she almost said "How old is this"

HAHAHAHA.

That aside, too many to list heh. These two days were fun, but if any councillors read this, we should not have Ac games anymore. Seriously. And omggg yk was so nice yesterday! He bought extra meatballs so that he could share with Sophie and I! Apparently, these are done in a bid to impress Sophie ;)

Yesterday's Ikea adventure was quite sad, EVERYONE thought I was weird for buying ikea batteries D:, but it was fun fun fun!
Today's Ikea adventure, was more fun. We played like crazy there!! All the toys, and Sophie trying to hide the lion, and us trying like crazy to find ONE lion in a mass of more than 200 stuffed toys. I SWEAR. And the funniest thing was that we were so caught up finding the lion, we didn't want to eat lunch until we found it. Hah.



So cute right. I didn't take many pictures, but those measly few are on facebook anyway. Don't have me as a friend? You're not meant to see it then... :)

Time to make presents for people, bye world!

AMY SO CUTE :) :) Mf and I are like, mirror positions from each other haha.